


Lead You In This Dance

by lovethatwewerein



Category: Glee
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-16
Updated: 2020-09-16
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:47:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26495131
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovethatwewerein/pseuds/lovethatwewerein
Summary: Warbler bonfires started almost forty years ago, the choir lost and cold with zero chance of finding their way home. They had been found long before they could fall asleep under the stars, but the tradition had stuck after that. It went from distant woods with over a dozen confused teenage boys to the sprawling gardens of Dalton with over a dozen confused boys gathered around a campfire.
Relationships: Blaine Anderson/Sebastian Smythe
Comments: 12
Kudos: 41





	Lead You In This Dance

**Author's Note:**

> Title comes from 'Control' by Janet Jackson

Warbler bonfires started almost forty years ago, the choir lost and cold with zero chance of finding their way home. They had been found long before they could fall asleep under the stars, but the tradition had stuck after that. It went from distant woods with over a dozen confused teenage boys to the sprawling gardens of Dalton with over a dozen confused boys gathered around a campfire.

He had missed it when he left, the combraderie that came with the group encircling the flames, oranges and red and golden sparks showering down on them. Nick and Jeff sharing a blanket to prove a point no one believed, Wes telling freshmen tales of when he was just starting off as a Warbler. There had been apple cider spiked with alcohol David’s sister scored them and hot chocolate for the members too young to drink.

It had been his first time drunk, surrounded by the first people he trusted in a long time, leaning on Robert’s shoulder. His brain had been hazy and his fingertips had been cold. It had been easy, in the moment, to accept Rob’s advances, to disappear out of everyone else’s line of sight and let go. It had been easy to forget that there was a new transfer, that he was supposed to be a mentor.

Kurt wasn’t a Warbler at that point - not fully. He hadn’t looked after Pavarotti or participated in a before-competition ritual. He wasn’t Blaine’s responsibility yet, so he didn’t feel guilty leaving him out of the fold. Why should he?

*

November came and went during his junior year, Kurt lost in his own little world of senior year. They planned dates, they went for coffee and lunch and lived their lives. But Nick posted a photo of the fire on his instagram, various Warblers setting up with the sun setting in the background, and he missed it.

He called Kurt to cancel, some study date that he probably shouldn’t skip. The photos scattered over his desk, pictures of the previous year. Wes, Thad and David with ties around their heads, so much less the leaders they had come to view them as. Nick and Jeff on separate sides of the same blanket, looking to all the world like they weren’t trying to look at one another. Blaine with his cheek resting on Robert’s shoulder, a one-time thing that hadn’t ruined their friendship.

He never told Kurt the truth, never explained why he had been so down on that day. It wouldn’t make sense to him. He would feel betrayed and it would become something it shouldn’t have to be. So he kept it to himself and that was probably the best choice he could have made.

*

The message waited in his inbox for three days, the worry that it might be Kurt willing to talk to him for the first time in weeks making him nervous to read it. He’d hovered the cursor over it so many times that he thought he could make it up, guess exactly what it said and how much it would hurt him. Most of the time he could be sure it was Kurt, something angry and full of bitterness that he would gladly take. But sometimes, when he was hopeless and still unable to forgive himself, he thought it could be an acceptance of his actions, of his apology. That it could be a new beginning.

It hadn’t been Kurt after all. It had been Sebastian, the first message in almost a year. His profile picture was different from the distasteful shirtless one it had been before, changed to one with his sister, both of them dressed up nicely for something no doubt important.

_Warbler bonfire. November 7._

He types a response immediately, a quick confirmation that he’ll be there. He doesn’t have to miss it this year, doesn’t have a boyfriend to lie to about where he’ll be. But it’s wrong, somehow, for him to say yes. If he does, if he takes his place back amongst people he doesn’t know that well anymore, Kurt won’t forgive him, will never be able to see past it.

And it’s not even that it’s the Warblers, that it’s Dalton. It’s the Sebastian of it. Of Blaine accepting an invitation from the one person Kurt hates, that he views as a threat. He can’t do it, can’t turn his back on his soulmate, just for one night of bliss with someone he doesn’t really know.

_Can’t make it. Sorry._

He closes the tab, tries to forget what he’s lost. What made him lost.

*

The alert gets him sent out of class and he hopes it isn’t Sebastian making a last ditch effort to get him to go to Dalton. He had made up his mind - nothing was going to change that. It wasn’t Sebastian. It was a facebook notification.

**Kurt Hummel is in a relationship.**

He’s pretty sure he stops breathing, that his heart stops beating. He hadn’t expected Kurt to move on, had expected him to be as torn up as Blaine was. He was so sure that they would figure it out, that they would wait until things were calm again and they realised they were meant to be. But he had been wrong, had imagined Kurt to be more invested in the future, in their future.

He’s barely registering his actions, can’t tell exactly what words he’s typing. It’s wrong and selfish and he isn’t sure how bad he really feels about it until the response is coming through.

_Invitation was always open, killer. See you tonight._

*

Everything is the same as the last time he was here for a bonfire. The same blankets. The same location. The same bond between brothers. Except nothing is the same. Nick and Jeff are wrapped up in each other’s arms under a blanket. Trent is telling stories to freshmen. Sebastian had bought them alcohol without having to extort anyone else into buying it for him.

Things have changed, the warblers have changed, whether he likes it or not. They’ve moved on from him, continued their lives and built up from where he had left them. They had bettered themselves and he had missed it all. Had wasted it on a boy that abandoned him for New York.

A drink is dangled in front of his face, something distinctly fruity blending with smoke. He takes it, Sebastian sitting himself down beside him.

“Are you going to cheer up or did you just come here to bring the mood down?”

He blinks, staring at the other boy with wide eyes. He’s always thought him beautiful, even when he knew he should be thinking of anything else. He’s even thought him pretty, in the darkest parts of his mind. In the parts that wanted more than romance, that wanted adventure and lust and freedom.

“I can leave if my presence is that much of a burden.”

A hand lands on his knee as he goes to stand up, warm and heavy. “I didn’t say you had to go, Anderson. I just think you should get that down you and lighten up.”

Lighten up. He’s heard it from so many people. Kurt and Cooper and Sam all wanting him to be less tense, to stop carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders. But this is Sebastian. Sebastian, who always made him feel lighter anyway, who made him wonder what it would be like to be as free as the other boy seems to be. When Sebastian says these things, no matter how stupid, they sound like solid advice. They sound like the path he’s supposed to take.

He should think through the consequences, should think about how this could change everything, but he’s single in the middle of nowhere, Ohio. He can take a chance to loosen up. To let go.

“Challenge accepted.”

He raises the cup to his lips, lets the taste side down his throat, berries and something that adds a kick at the end. He likes it enough that he finishes it and drinks another.

And another.

And another.

Trent, ever responsible, cuts him off after that. Not that it matters, not when he’s not thinking about Kurt. About the new boyfriend. About how he doesn’t know what he’s going to do, where he’s going to end up. It’s all gone, every concern he’s had since starting senior year and he likes it. He belongs at Dalton, even with all its changes. It’s his home.

“I only left for a few minutes,” Sebastian laughs, coming up behind him. Blaine gets it, the humour of the situation. He’s somehow lost his bowtie, has gone from singing quietly in his seat to dancing with abandon a few feet away from the fire. “Maybe I shouldn’t have given you so much to drink.”

“No,” he smiles, wrapping his arms around the taller boy’s waist because it doesn’t matter what he does anymore. No one can be angry with him for it, can tell him that it’s wrong to enjoy this moment. “It’s a good thing. I feel like I’m on cloud nine.”

“You feel like you’re floating?”

“Yep,” he drags the word out, Sebastian’s palms warm on his hips. It’s intoxicating. “Never felt better.”

They dance and Nick makes them pose for pictures, declaring them ‘just the cutest’ as he tucks his phone back into his pocket. He doesn’t understand Sebastian’s glare or Nick’s laughter because, last he checked, they are both very cute. What’s wrong with that?

He slumps against Sebastian around eleven, eyes drooping as he watches the flames touch the sky. There’s small bits of ash drifting past his face and, if he thought it would be practical, he might try and catch some of it. Conserve a small part of tonight for the future.

Living like this would be great, he decides, surrounded by friends. By family. Life could be great with nothing more than his brothers and the arm of a pretty boy, bathed in moonlight and firelight, wrapped around him.

“I could stay here forever,” he mumbles before he even knows he’s going to say anything. Sebastian’s shoulder shifts underneath him but he doesn’t push him away. “Could live at Dalton with you forever.”

There’s a pause and then quietly, like he isn’t sure he wants the words to be heard, “You could always come back, you know.”

He nods, even though he hadn’t thought of it as an option. Hadn’t thought he’d ever have a reason to leave memories of Kurt behind.

“And I’d be here the whole time,” Sebastian continues, almost wistful. He’s got a cup of water in his hands, a half-hearted attempt at sobering up so there’s someone able to support the younger kids.

“We’d start a Warbler dynasty if we were both in charge.”

“The other teams wouldn’t stand a chance.”

His eyes are barely open anymore, his usual filter gone with the ash swirling in the air. “We’d be the greatest show choir couple to ever live.”

Sebastian sighs, his shoulder sinking lower. He might be deflated, a fantasy neither of them will get the chance to live out lost to the wind, or he could be tired. Blaine’s already half asleep, his makeshift pillow more comfortable than most people’s shoulders, wrapped in Sebastian’s scent and a heavy blanket.

*

Nick hands him a photo a couple days later, meeting him in the Lima Bean for a coffee after school. It’s him, curls wild and eyes shut, with his head on Sebastian’s shoulder. The firelight is bouncing off his features, bright oranges and red and golden sparks raining down on them. Sebastian’s clearly asleep as well, his body less stiff, his face more relaxed. But his head is resting on top of Blaine’s and they look comfortable. Content.

Kurt’s moved on, has left them in the past and taken his own path forward. So why can’t Blaine do the same?

He texts Sebastian as soon as Nick leaves.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm at love-that-we-were-in on tumblr.


End file.
